


'Cause I Can't Be Alone With All That's On My Mind

by xLoveMx



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bodyguard AU, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Modern AU, beauyasha - Freeform, domestic beauyasha because that's what we're doing now apparently, thoreau lionett is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:53:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24575617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLoveMx/pseuds/xLoveMx
Summary: Thoreau Lionett, wealthy entrepreneur,  has had enough of his daughter getting herself into trouble, so he hires a bodyguard named Yasha to keep her in line. Beau sees the whole thing as a challenge though, and promptly falls in love.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 66
Kudos: 418





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ...I did a thing. xD  
> Anyway, this idea wouldn't leave my mind ever since I made that moodboard for beauyasha week, so here we go! Enjoy x
> 
> Playlist:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ujsf5DoXgKLme0VZGrgEu?si=hcYOUmFMSwazMWp_QIurpg

Beau knew something was wrong the moment she stepped into the house.

She usually made a habit of not coming in through the front door, even during the day, because there was always a chance that she would run into someone she didn’t want to talk to.

Today her mother was supposed to be out though, and her father was normally still working, but right now Beau could see both of them in the sitting room to her left, just looking at her.

“Oh shit,” for a moment she very nearly believed that she had been caught doing what she did during some nights, when her Dad thought she was out drinking, despite being barely 20. Of course she often ended up in some of the worst bars around town, drinking until she forgot her own name, but what Beau was mostly doing was taking some of her Dad’s wine and selling it for half price to anyone who wanted it.

It was way too expensive anyway, and it wasn’t like he would notice that she took some crates from the cellar every now and then.

It wasn’t really about the money, because she could have as much as she wanted, it was more an act of a rebellion, or maybe a call for attention if she was being honest with herself. Not that she particularly wanted her parents to find out that she was selling their very expensive wine behind their backs for half the price, but still.

Beau tried not to think about it too much, and whenever she ended up in one of the bars, black out drunk, she reminded herself that this was a good idea.

“Beauregard, your mother and I would like to talk to you.” Her father’s voice came through, and she instinctively pulled her jacket a little tighter around herself so it would cover the bruise on her left side.

Sometimes, whenever she wasn’t drinking, Beau liked to get into fights. Whether they were bar fights or underground ones she didn’t care. The bar fights had a bigger chance of making it back to her father though, because they would just send the bill for any broken glass and furniture his way.

She was pretty sure that, if he had found out what she was actually doing behind his back, he would have not granted her the dignity of walking into the house, but instead have her dragged in by the hair.

“Sure. What’s up?” She replied, forcing herself to not cross her arms in front of her chest. She didn’t want to come across as defensive right off the bat, even though it was a natural reaction she had, especially with her father.

“You know that the wine business is very…competitive. Things have been getting…progressively more dangerous over the last couple of years.”

Beau knew that her father was a little superstitious. She liked to call it paranoid, really, but he was always on the lookout for something. When she had been a child still, he had made her wear necklaces and bracelets to protect her from what he called _the greater evil._ To this day she had no idea what that was supposed to be, but she had played along, mainly because he had acted super strange whenever she had forgotten to put the necklaces and bracelets on or just hadn’t cared enough to take it along.

This was different though. Tokens of good luck weren’t going to protect her from rowdies that were trying to scare their family, or worse hurt them.

“I would like you to meet Yasha. We have hired her for your safety. She will always be around to keep an eye on you, and…whoever is watching you. She will report back to me to make sure everything’s alright.”

Beau’s attention was captured by the woman who stood off to the side, leaning against the wall. She hadn’t even noticed her at first, but now she almost stood out. Dark hair with white tips, that fell down her back in a tight braid. She was tall, taller than most people Beau knew, and probably even taller than her father. Her eye make-up was dark and there was a black stripe that went up her chin and onto her lower lip. A tattoo maybe? Or something she painted on every morning. Either way Beau thought it to be pretty badass.

The woman looked tough, and like she would have no trouble kicking in a door, and for a moment Beau got lost in the image of this Yasha picking up her father and throwing him straight out the window.

“Right. Yasha. Wait.” She frowned, turning her attention back to Thoreau. “She’s going to _follow_ me? Who’s protecting you? And TJ?”

Something about this was off, she could feel it. Beau could definitely defend herself, but her mother rarely even left the house, and her little brother was four, and while Beau loved him, she wasn’t sure he could do much besides annoy any potential kidnappers with his loud crying voice.

“Your mother and TJ are protected by the security guards that watch the house. I have my own protection. This is for you.”

Her eyebrow shot up almost immediately. “Oh, come on. Are you serious?” The woman’s presence had thrown her off just a little, but now that his father was elaborating on the whole deal, the dots in Beau’s head were connecting. “You want her to watch me, so I don’t go off doing something you don’t approve of.”

Thoreau flinched ever so slightly, though it would have probably gone unnoticed to anyone that wasn’t Beau. She knew his expressions and reactions though, and she knew when he was lying.

“Beauregard, like I said: This world is getting progressively more dangerous and I just don’t want anyone I love to be placed in unnecessary danger,”

“Oh please. You don’t love me. You love TJ and Mom. You don’t care about me.” It still hurt, even after all these years, but she knew it to be the truth. She had always been a little different than her parents. A little more impulsive and stronger willed, and when her views on how to run the business hadn’t been the same as her father’s he had dropped her like a hot potato to a point where her parents had another child, fifteen years after her own birth, because he needed a new heir.

Beau loved TJ, but she hated her father.

“You know I hate it when you talk like that. In this house we love everyone equally,” Thoreau responded, and Beau could feel her blood beginning to boil. It was a miracle she had never outright punched her father in the face.

“Oh, fuck you.” She bit her lip then, as if she had to force herself not to add anything else to that.

“Using that kind of language is what gets you in trouble, Beauregard.” Her father responded, waving his hand dismissively. “Yasha will be keeping an eye on you and that’s the end of this discussion. You should be thankful that we care so much.”

There were so many things she wanted to say, but didn’t, because the way her stomach twisted whenever her father spoke with her made it hard to think clearly.

“Whatever.” Beau managed, before shooting her mother, who had been silent during this whole exchange, a look, and then turning to make her way up the stairs and towards her room.

She barely made it to the door, when she noticed that she was being followed. Yasha was trailing a few steps behind her, watching her every move. God damn it, who had given that women the right to be this attractive? Beau had scared off a few nannies and guards in her time, but they had been annoying and a lot less distracting.

“What, you’re literally going to follow me around everywhere?” She then asked, but there was no response. Instead Yasha was just looking at her, stone faced. “Oh, you don’t talk? That’s super mysterious.” Beau added, wriggling her eyebrows at the other woman, but there was still no reaction.

“Jeez. Right. You’re going to follow me to the bathroom, too? Because I don’t think we know each other well enough for that.”

She grabbed her phone and slipped into through the door, locking it from the inside. The other woman hadn’t followed her, but when Beau peeked through the keyhole for a moment, she could see Yasha leaning against the opposite wall, watching the door.

Shaking her head, she pulled back and dialed a familiar number on her phone.

“’sup?” Her best friend’s voice came through eventually, and Beau felt instant relief. Some of the tension from moments ago seemed to dissolve and she leaned against the door.

“My Dad’s being a dick again. You won’t believe what he did this time. I’m going to punch him in the face, Fjord.”

“And I will be there to cover for you,” he chuckled, “But seriously. What’s he done this time?”

Fjord was a year older than her and had gone off to college last year, but he still came back into town every now and then. He didn’t have any family here, so Beau suspected that he did it just for her. They never talked about it, but she was thankful to have him around.

“He hired a bodyguard. Apparently because he thinks I’m in danger of getting kidnapped or some shit, but I know he just wants to keep her around to report back to him and probably keep me from breaking any bar equipment he will have to pay for.”

“And I’m assuming you’re already making plans of how to get rid of her?” He asked back as Beau moved towards the window, pushing it open.

“Yeah. I mean, she’s super weird. Pretty hot too, but that’s like…beside the point. She follows me around and just…stares at me.” Her voice was quieter as she poked her head outside, glancing around.

Usually she used a rope to sneak out from her room at night, but there were vines going up the side of the house all around, and if she did it right, she’d be able to get away with it.

“You think your Dad’s going to fire her if you manage to escape her view?”

“You mean _when_ ,” Beau corrected, the corners of her lips turning upwards slightly. “Already one step ahead of you. I’ll talk to you later,” She didn’t give him time to even say his goodbyes before she had ended the call and slipped the phone into her pocket.

She had only been in here a minute at this point, so she could warrant another few before Yasha would come banging at the door.

Sitting on the windowsill and swinging her legs out, Beau caught hold of the vines and slowly lowered herself down. It wasn’t as comfortable as a rope, but she had a pretty good grip and was strong enough to make it down without slipping or letting go. The ribs she had bruised in that fight were acting up just a little, but she ignored the pain, wiping her hands on her pants before making her way along the wall and towards the front of the house.

She managed to get as far as the corner before her efforts were shattered. She almost jumped when Yasha came into view, was casually leaning against the wall, her eyebrow raised at Beau.

“You really think that’s enough to get rid of me?” Her voice was softer than Beau had anticipated, and it threw her off just a little.

“Who said I was trying to get rid of you?” She responded eventually, arms crossed, though she couldn’t quite hide the hint of the smile on her face.

“You want to go back in that way or…?” Yasha continued, one eyebrow raised, but Beau just waved her hands.

“Nah. I mean I kinda wanna see you do it, but we can save that for another day.” She then added before walking towards the front gate as casually as possible. She would have to come up with a plan to still keep delivery up without Yasha noticing anything, she had clients that relied on her after all, but maybe that was something to be worried about tomorrow.

Today she really just wanted to find a way to deal with the anger that was still coiling in her stomach just a little, and it would have to either be drinking herself into oblivion or punching someone. Maybe both.

“You know, I bet I could beat you to it,” Yasha’s voice came through again and Beau watched as the other woman walked past her, lips seemingly curved into a smile as she held the gate open.

Beau couldn’t help but chuckle just a little.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh apologies for being a little slow, but here's chapter two! xx

The bar Beau usually frequented was pretty empty. It was barely past five at this point, and while most people in Komordah drank on a daily basis, the day drinking usually happened at home, or in the vineyards, which was probably also the reason why this place looked as shitty as it did.

In fact, it wasn’t much more than an old storage house with random tables and chairs that had been assembled in an attempt to create some sort of rusty atmosphere. The bar was the only modern thing in here and it didn’t fit well with the rest, making the whole thing even weirder to look at.

Luckily Beau was usually drunk whenever she came here, or was quick to get drunk anyways, so she didn’t mind. It was a nice contrast to her home, too. Everything there was clean and perfect, and the cutlery alone was probably worth twice as much as this entire establishment.

“Interesting,” Yasha nodded as she stepped through the door, looking around. For a moment Beau wondered if the other woman was supposed to stop her from drinking, or just from destroying property her father would have to pay for. She usually paid for her own drinks, in a way, so there really was no need keep her from spending money on it, considering it wasn’t her father’s.

“You want a drink?” She asked, holding up two fingers towards the guy behind the bar, who simply nodded and filled up two glasses with ale before sliding them over.

“I don’t drink when I work,” Yasha answered, her eyes seemingly scanning the room and taking stock of what she was seeing. There were two boys in one of the far corners, definitely too young to be drinking, but then again Beau had been coming here to drink since she was fifteen, so who was she to judge? And old Joe, who was already passed out at one of the tables, and probably had been for a while, like he usually was.

“Great, more for me,” She then found herself saying as she downed one glass right at the bar, before picking the other one up and walking over to one of the free tables, sitting down. Yasha followed, her eyes now trained on Beau, almost curious.

“So, do you work like…24/7? Do you get days off?” She offered, taking a sip of her ale before glancing back at Yasha. There were things she had to do, things her father couldn’t know about, and if the other woman was going to be watching her all day every day then Beau would have to find a way to get rid of her, at least for a while.

“I get paid to watch out and make sure trouble doesn’t cross your path. So, whenever you’re awake, I’m awake.”

It almost sounded like a threat, and Beau might have been a little more annoyed if Yasha hadn’t been quite so hot. It was really distracting to just be looking at her. In fact, if she could get the other woman to make out with her maybe that would be enough of a reason for her father to consider this whole bodyguard idea a failure.

“Look, I’m not judging you for taking the money, in fact if I were you, I’d probably ask for a raise instantly, my father has more than enough, but he’s not a nice person. Like, I don’t know what your moral alignment is, but he’s not on the good side. He likes to pretend he is, though.” Beau wasn’t even sure why she was saying all these things, if Yasha was in fact on her father’s side, which she should have been considering he was the one paying her, then this was definitely not helping.

“You know, whatever my father is paying you for the day, I could double that if you just…stayed here and had a drink or two, for the rest of the night.” She found herself continuing despite herself.

“Are you…offering me money so I will not do the thing I was hired to do?” Yasha asked back, one eyebrow raised, though Beau swore she could see the hint of a smile on the other woman’s lips.

“Maybe? Look. I’m not as bad as my father makes me out to be.” That was probably a lie, in fact Beau was probably even worse than her father made her out to be, but it was mostly his fault she had turned out to be this way to begin with.

“If you’re so intent on destroying things to get rid of your anger, maybe try a punching bag?”

Beau couldn’t help but laugh at that, because it wasn’t as if she hadn’t already tried that. It helped for a little while, though she wasn’t destroying property for the sake of destroying it, but because she wanted her father to be annoyed. It had started out with little inconveniences, like being late for work in the vineyard or missing dinner without telling him where she had gone, but when that hadn’t seemed to faze him anymore, Beau had upped her game.

Sipping on her ale, she caught sight of the door opening on the far end of the bar and a familiar face entering.

“Fuck, what day is it?” She muttered, earning another raised eyebrow from Yasha.

“Tuesday, why?”

Today was delivery day, something Beau had entirely forgotten about due to the trouble with her father. She would have to come up with a plan to get rid of Yasha for the evening, which was going to be a lot harder considering the other woman wasn’t drinking.

“Beau, fancy seeing you here.” The woman that had made her way over and was now leaning against the table, gave her a nod and then her eyes wandered over to Yasha. “Who’s your friend?”

Tori and Beau were partners. Business partners. With benefits. They had met right here in this bar about a year ago when Tori had bought her a drink and Beau had gotten drunk enough to complain about her father in full force. Drunkenly she had come up with a plan to annoy her father and somehow, they had ended up with the idea of selling Thoreau’s wine for far less than it was worth. Fast forward a few weeks and they were selling bottles out of the basement of this very bar every other week. During the first couple of times traffic had been slow, so more out of boredom than anything else, they had started making out.

It was nice, and Beau wasn’t complaining, but it was far from what anyone could call a relationship.

“Tori. That’s Yasha. She’s a friend of Caleb’s. Staying with us while she’s passing through,” It was far too easy to lie, even to someone who Beau was probably the closest to in this town, but she had grown up trying to lie her way out of things, so it was really all she knew. Luckily Yasha didn’t protest, but instead gave a nod to Tori.

“Nice to meet you. Beau, are we having a drink later?” Her attention shifted back to Beau, who attempted to not make a face as she was reminded, once again, of the struggles she was now facing.

“Yeah, yeah sure. Should work out. I’ll find you.” She nodded, watching as Tori gave her a smile, before moving back towards the door. Once she was gone, Yasha raised her eyebrow again.

“So, who’s Caleb?” Taking another sip of her ale, Beau held back a sigh, glancing over at Yasha for a moment.

“He’s…a friend who studies at the Soltryce Academy in Rexxentrum with Fjord. Who’s my best friend,” She eventually nodded, taking another sip. “Which, by the way, congratulations: You now know more about me than my father does.” It wasn’t even that she was drunk, but there was definitely a pleasant buzz in the back of her mind that was making it easier to talk, and harder to think clearly.

Yasha was still watching her, chin resting in her hands, and Beau decided to get herself another drink. Two ales in and she had no idea how she was going to fix this, but at least with Yasha around Beau somehow had less of an urge to punch someone, which had to count for something, right?

Picking up her drink, and another glass filled with water, she trotted back over to the table and sat down, pushing the non-alcoholic drink towards Yasha. “Offer still stands, by the way. I could pay you to just…be somewhere else.” It was a dumb idea, and Beau was well aware that Yasha could go running straight back to her father and tell him that she was up to something, or at the very least that Beau had money which clearly didn’t come from him.

“Or you could…you know, just sit here with me and not get into trouble.” Yasha then replied, which caused Beau to huff and pick up her drink.

This was going to be a lot harder than she had initially thought.

-

At some point she had stopped drinking, though she had to admit that her head was still buzzing a little. Her phone battery was down to 5 percent, and she had about ten texts from Tori, asking if they were still on for tonight. The bar had filled up, and Yasha was still sitting across from her, though she had switched to drinking Pepsi now.

“Alright. This is getting ridiculous,” She grumbled, shaking her head. “Can you like…give me twenty minutes to go outside and make out with that hot girl you saw earlier? Unless you wanna watch, but I’m gonna have to charge you for that.”

Yasha was raising an eyebrow again, though her initial expression seemed more confused than anything.

“Look, I promise I’m not planning on destroying any property, but if I can’t punch anyone, I’m going to have to make out with someone,” Technically, that wasn’t even a lie, though Beau didn’t really feel up to making out with Tori tonight. This entire day had already felt like it had taken years off her life, and she would have long been completely wasted if she didn’t have a business to maintain.

“I’ll be waiting here.”

Beau couldn’t help but glance up then, now her own eyebrow raised. “Yeah?”

“I’m not your babysitter, Beau. I’ll be keeping an eye out, but if you’re not back within twenty minutes then I’m coming to look for you.”

Beau couldn’t quite hide the way her lips curved into a smile and she nodded, finishing her drink. “Alright, I’ll be right back, M’am.” And maybe she also gave Yasha a little wink, because she was tipsy, and the other woman was still pretty hot.

Making her way out of the bar, Beau was instantly hit with the cold air, and for a moment she felt slightly dizzy, having to lean against the wall.

“Had a bit too much there?” Tori’s voice came through, and she could tell that the other woman was grinning before even looking at her. “Where’s your friend? You thought it was a good idea to bring her along today of all days?”

Rolling her eyes, Beau pushed away from the wall, shaking her head. “It would have been rude to leave her at home. I would have needed to listen to Caleb complaining about it for the next year. Now are we doing this? I’ve got twenty minutes. Meet you in the back in three.” She wasn’t really in the mood for arguing right now, and their time was short.

“Right, I’ve got the keys. See you in a bit.” Tori replied, and Beau assumed she had noticed the tension in her voice, because she didn’t argue and instead just vanished out of sight.

Sighing, Beau leaned against the wall again once more, closing her eyes. The buzzing in her head was taking over again, and it wasn’t the pleasant kind anymore.

_Just get through this and then you can sleep in tomorrow..._ She reminded herself before taking another deep breath to make her way through the nearest alley and towards the back of the building, where they’d be able to get into the basement and finish off the deals they had planned for tonight.

Beau didn’t quite manage to get that far though, because the moment she attempted to turn the corner, and step out of the shadows, she could feel a presence behind her. She wanted to turn around, but the alcohol was slowing down her reactions, and suddenly one hand came to grab her by the collar, yanking her back, while the other clamped over her mouth quickly enough so she wasn’t even able to scream.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE NEW YASHA PLAYLIST HAS ME ALL EWBFÄLjwbe-cjldsbjbvlbj YASHA WANTS TO HOLD BEAU ;_____;
> 
> So yes, have this new chapter and listen to the playlist that goes with it xD <3  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ujsf5DoXgKLme0VZGrgEu?si=jUzpzMqYRZSNHxhwBCYs2g

Beau felt herself being pushed against the stone wall, a hand still firmly pressed to her mouth. Her first instinct was to try and scream again, maybe kick to get a chance to free herself, but then her eyes met with familiar ones and she instantly stopped struggling.

“...asha?” She managed when the hand was finally pulled away. “What the fuck?” The other woman was still pressing her against the wall, her body warm and her grip firm and Beau wasn’t going to lie: She was definitely confused, but also a little turned on.

Maybe she should have known that Yasha wasn’t going to let her out of her sight. She had been hired by Beau’s father after all, and Thoreau surely wouldn’t take on just anyone, so Yasha must have seemed trustworthy enough for him to believe that she’d keep Beau in her sights.

Not necessarily something Beau would have complained about, but this really was interfering with her side income. “If you wanted to make out with me you could have just asked, then I would have told Tori not to wait for me.” It was a poor attempt at flirting, really, but there wasn’t much else to do from where she was still trapped between Yasha and the wall. The other woman, however, only raised an eyebrow and eventually pulled back a little, which Beau almost complained about.

“This guy, he came into the bar.” Yasha then spoke, glancing around, but there was no one in the alleyway other than the two of them. “When your father hired me, that man was in the office with him and then left. I saw him come in earlier, and two minutes after you left, he also went outside. Look,” shaking her head slowly, Yasha stepped even further away. “I don’t know what you’re doing here, and truthfully I don’t want to know, but apparently I’m not the only one watching you,”

It could have been a coincidence, of course, Yasha assumed that there weren’t too many taverns in this town, but for that guy to leave the moment Beau had gone outside, too? No, she had always been able to trust her gut, and her gut was telling her that this guy was up to something.

“What? What guy?” Beau frowned, now also turning to look around and reaching into her pocket to pull out her phone.

“Fairly small. Black hair, his nose is too big for his face. Has a smile that gives me the creeps.” Yasha replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She still had no idea what Beau was up to, and part of her didn’t want to know, because she’d possibly feel compelled to tell the other woman’s father, he was paying her after all, even though everything about him seemed just wrong.

“Sebastian,” Beau huffed, pushing herself away from the wall. “He works for my father. Surprise: he doesn’t like me.” Truthfully, there weren’t a lot of people that worked for her father who actually liked her, let alone cared about her, but Sebastian was...a special case. “Fuck. Can I borrow your phone?” Her battery seemed to have died on the way from the bar to the alleyway, and Beau needed to text Tori that today’s deal was off.

With one eyebrow raised, Yasha pulled out her phone, unlocked it and held it out to Beau, who quickly typed a message to Tori.

_It’s B. Deal’s off. My father is on my ass today. ttyl._

Once she was sure that Tori had read the text, Beau went ahead and deleted it, before handing the phone back to Yasha. “Thanks,” She was far too sober again, the cool air and the shock of being grabbed and pressed against the wall having cleared her head. Beau debated whether to go back inside, or find a place to beat someone up, but this was Yasha’s first day, and the other woman had basically just saved her ass.

“Let’s go home, I’m tired.” She found herself saying, and Yasha simply nodded, eventually following Beau out the alley and down the street, back to the Lionett house.

Usually Beau would have snuck in, simply to avoid a possible confrontation, but with Yasha around she didn’t make even an effort, she hadn’t destroyed anything today, and whatever her father had sent Sebastian for, he had nothing to report back.

The lights in the house were still on, but there was no one around apart from what Beau assumed was their maid, Magda, rustling in the kitchen. Her father was probably still working, and her mother had long gone to bed. She walked up the stairs and towards her room, before turning around to look at Yasha for a moment. Where was the other woman sleeping? Probably in one of their countless guest rooms that were usually left untouched. Beau had half a mind to ask Yasha if she was going to keep watch outside her door, but then didn’t. “Thanks. You know...for not ratting me out.” She eventually found herself saying, running a hand through her short hair.

Yasha nodded, watching as the other woman opened the door to her room and stepped inside. “Beau?”

“Yeah?” She stopped, ignoring the way her heart missed a beat there, and turned around to give Yasha another look.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to make out with your friend.” There was the hint of a smile on Yasha’s face, and maybe it was the rest of the alcohol still in her system, but Beau couldn’t help but laugh loud enough to probably wake the whole house.

“You know what? It’s fine. If you ever wanna make up for it though, you know where I sleep.” And with that she closed the door, barely catching the way Yasha raised another eyebrow at her.

-

When she awoke the next morning, Beau had no idea what time it was. She had forgotten to plug in her phone the night before, so she quickly did, before rolling herself out of bed. The sun was already up, so it had to be past 7, at least.

_Probably later,_ she thought to herself as she made her way over into the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush her teeth. Her parents had long given up on waking her or forcing her to eat with them. Her father was usually up before dawn, and for a while Beau had been eager to do the same, trying her best to keep up with him so she could learn. Then shit had gone sideways eventually and these days she only really spoke to him whenever it was necessary. Things with her mother were a little...more complicated. She cared a lot more than Thoreau, but she also never spoke up for Beau, it was almost as if she was afraid of the consequences of having her own opinion.

Sighing, Beau slipped into a new pair of jeans and a shirt, before stepping out of the room, almost doing a double take when she caught sight of Yasha, who was leaning against the opposite wall, a book in hand.

“Damn, do you ever sleep?” The words had slipped out before she could stop herself, but Beau was really still focused on trying to calm down her racing heart.

“It’s past eleven.” Yasha then replied, closing the book and slipping it into a small bag that she was carrying without Beau being able to catch what exactly she was reading.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” She replied, closing the door behind herself as she stepped further out into the hall. Her mouth was dry, and she needed something to eat, her stomach had been complaining ever since she had woken up. Moving downstairs and into the kitchen, with Yasha following behind, Beau noticed that Magda didn’t seem to be around.

“She’s helping your mother with something,” Yasha explained, and somehow Beau had a feeling that the other woman knew more about what was going on in this house already than most of the people who actually lived here. “Are you hungry?” She then added, slipping past Beau and opening a few cupboards to pull out bowls and ingredients. “Are pancakes alright?”

For a moment Beau was stunned, her eyes flickering between Yasha and the ingredients. She would have asked how the other knew where to find all of them on her first try, but then again Yasha had also known that Beau was going to try and sneak out through the back window. “You don’t have to make me breakfast. That’s not what you’re being paid for,” She then mumbled, but Yasha waved her off.

“I know. I...want to.” And with that she went to work, and Beau couldn’t help but watch her for a moment, ignoring the way her own heart had skipped another beat just then. She couldn’t remember anyone ever actually wanting to make food for her, other than Magda of course, but the maid was also being paid for it, so that didn’t really count. Fjord had once tried to cook them a meal and almost burned down the kitchen at his dorm, before Caleb had come in and saved them by making pasta. It had been nice, to have people who actually cared for her, but it had made going back to Komordah even worse.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Beau watched as Yasha stirred the mix of flour, milk and eggs before glancing around for a frying pan. Once she had found one, she set it down onto the stove, giving Beau a smile as she waited for it to heat up.

“Wait you got...” Beau hopped off the chair she had settled onto and wandered over, reaching up to wipe some of the flour that had gotten onto Yasha’s face away. She didn’t have any sleeves, so she used her thumb to brush over the other woman’s cheek, and for a moment their eyes met. Time seemed to slow down all of a sudden, and for a moment Beau seriously considered kissing Yasha.

It was probably a dumb idea, because they barely knew each other, and if anyone saw them Yasha would most likely get fired, but that didn’t mean that Beau wasn’t thinking about it. The other woman was beautiful, and somehow mysterious, and Beau hadn’t made out with anyone in a month. Besides, kissing Tori was nice, and the other woman was attractive, but it wasn’t the same, somehow? They had only really started making out with each other out of boredom, and then never really stopped. It wasn’t unpleasant by any means; it just wasn’t what Beau wanted to spend the rest of her life doing.

“Are you...done?” Yasha’s voice brought her back and Beau blinked, feeling her cheeks heating up ever so slightly as she quickly stepped away.

“Yeah. Sorry. Old...habit. I was taught to always look presentable.” Though Yasha did look quite presentable, even with flour smeared across her face and...alright, Beau really had to stop thinking these kind of things. She was shoveling her own grave, and the worst part was that she was well aware of it.

“Coffee?” She then asked after clearing her throat, before walking towards the machine and grabbing two cups. Her heart was still beating a little faster than it should have been, and this way she could at least hide the blush from Yasha, who had gone back to making pancakes.

“Coffee would be great, yeah.” The other woman’s voice traveled across the kitchen and Beau simply nodded. While the coffee was brewing, she quickly ran upstairs to check her phone. There were a few notifications on social media and a message from Fjord, asking how she was doing. Typing a quick _Call you later x,_ Beau switched to the other messages she had received, which were from Tori.

**From: Tori, 10.45pm**

_What?_

**From: Tori, 11.36pm**

_Beau?_

**From: Tori: 11.47pm**

_What the fuck?_

**From: Tori, 11.55pm**

_You just cost me 200 bucks._

**From: Tori, 11.59pm**

_At least answer me???!_

**From: Tori, 12.15am**

_Well fuck you too, Beauregard._

“Shit...” Beau muttered under her breath as she scrolled up and down to read the messages again. She vaguely remembered texting Tori that she was going to talk to her later, which she obviously hadn’t, mainly because she had thought about making out with Yasha.

Ignoring the knot in her stomach, Beau quickly pressed the call button, nervously tapping her foot against the floor, but the call went straight to voice mail.

**From: Beau, 11.23am**

_Sorry, sorry, sorry!!! My battery died! Call me when you get this?_

She typed the message into the phone and sent it off anyway, even though she was well aware that Tori’s phone was turned off, before signing and slipping the phone into her pocket.

For Beau this whole thing was mainly a way to get back at her father, though she didn’t mind having some money on the side that he didn’t know about, but Tori actually needed the money. Her family wasn’t as wealthy as Beau’s, and she used most of the money to support her parents, and younger siblings, which was why Beau usually let her have a little more than fifty percent of what they made.

“Fuck...” She sighed again as she turned towards the stairs and made her way back down into the kitchen, where Yasha was leaning against the kitchen counter, a stack of pancakes on a plate next to her. The other woman was looking down at her phone and turned her attention to Beau when she noticed her entering. There was something off, Beau couldn’t even quite tell why, but the atmosphere in the room had clearly shifted, and she was so busy trying to figure out what was going on, that she almost missed Yasha’s words.

“You...sell your father’s wine behind his back?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Enjoy x

For a moment Beau simply hoped that she had misheard. There was no way Yasha could know about this after only a couple of days, especially not since they hadn’t even completed a deal last night. Her mind went back to Tori and the angry texts though, while her eyes caught sight of the phone Yasha was holding.

“Fuck.” She had texted Tori from Yasha’s phone last night, and even though she had deleted the messages it was clear that Tori still had Yasha’s number on her end.

The other woman was still looking at her, one eyebrow raised, and it was obvious that she was waiting for an answer. Beau could feel her stomach twisting as she forced herself to not lean against the door frame for support. She had always figured that her father would eventually find out what she was doing, and maybe a small part of her had hoped that he’d find out at some point, but she hadn’t expected it to happen this way.

“You know what? Yeah, fuck. He deserves it.” Beau eventually found herself replying, ignoring the burning in her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of Yasha, or in front of anyone. “He sells everything overpriced and people buy it anyways because there aren’t too many other families that sell wine around here.” Of course the Lionett wine wasn’t bad by all means, Beau actually enjoyed having a glass or two every now and then when she wasn’t actively trying to get wasted, but it was still sold for way more money than it was worth, something she would have let slide if her father hadn’t been such an asshole.

“Beau...” Yasha attempted, but she wasn’t done yet. “...and fuck him for not giving a shit about me and my opinion! I could have just smashed all the crates, that would have been a lot more satisfying, but once I have enough money I’m going to get out of here.” And with that she had turned around and headed back upstairs, forcefully shutting the door behind herself.

Beau could feel the tears threatening to fall, her heart beating against her ribcage almost painfully. She had thought about leaving so many times, but before she had started selling the wine she didn’t have any money, and while Fjord and Caleb had offered her a place to stay she hadn’t wanted to just up and away with no place to go to, in fear of eventually having to turn around to crawl back home and beg for forgiveness.

“Fuck.” Reaching for her phone, Beau unlocked it and sent off another text towards Tori.

**To Tori, 11.31am**

_Fuck you! I’m not going down alone!_

She could feel her hands shaking as she tossed the phone back onto the bed, taking a deep breath. The urge to punch something was becoming overwhelming, and while she could have smashed something in here in an instant, she was well aware that she would have to explain that to her father, or at the very least to her mother, who was more likely to notice, and if Yasha hadn’t told anyone about what Beau was doing yet then she should probably keep a low profile for now.

The buzzing of her phone snapped Beau from her trance, and she felt her heartbeat increasing again, but when she checked the display it was Fjord’s name that lit up. Part of her wished that she could talk to him, because as different as they were most of the time, Beau knew that he was her best friend, but she was also pretty sure that, if she answered the phone right now, she’d break down crying.

Turning the phone off, she eventually let herself fall onto the bed, face buried into the pillow as she screamed in frustration.

-

The rest of the day was a bit of a blur. The urge to punch something, or someone, hadn’t subsided, and her father hadn’t come home yet. Her mother had spoken of something important having come up at work, so she had asked Yasha to join them for dinner. The huge table in the dining room was too large for all of them, and even with Thoreau there it would have still been too big. Hell, this entire dining room, which was rarely ever in use anymore, was at least four times the size of Fjord’s dorm room.

Beau wasn’t really hungry anyways, but she was planning on getting wasted tonight, something not even Yasha could stop her from doing, so if she didn’t eat, she’d be too drunk to properly punch anyone after not even one drink.

Avoiding to look at the other woman all evening, Beau instead listened to her mother talk about what she had been doing all day. Or no, she wasn’t really listening, more like pretending to, while clenching her fist under the table and forcing herself not to look at Yasha. Beau’s mother had attempted to engage her in any kind of conversation, but Yasha clearly wasn’t in the mood either, so dinner passed and when her father still hadn’t returned, Beau eventually locked the door to her room from the inside and slipped into some more comfortable clothes while wrapping her hands in bandages.

She hadn’t turned her phone on again, but she didn’t really have to. There was usually always a place to fight if you really wanted to, and Beau definitely wanted to.

Swinging her legs over the windowsill, Beau followed the familiar motions of grabbing onto the vines and lowering herself down onto the ground. She didn’t even need to turn around to know that Yasha was right there waiting for her.

“Look, if you’re going to rat me out to my father at least let me have this night?” She sighed, wiping her hands on her pants before she found the other woman’s eyes for a moment. Beau wasn’t even sure why it was so hard to breathe all of a sudden. Maybe because she thought that she was getting along fine with Yasha, better than with anyone else in this hell town anyways, and now it was all gone before it had even started.

“Punch me.” It wasn’t the answer Beau had expected, and once again she briefly wondered if she had misheard, Yasha was looking directly at her though, a serious expression on her face.

“What?”

“I said: Punch me. I’m familiar with unhealthy comping mechanisms,” She then added, gesturing for Beau to come at her. “Been there, done that. So: Punch me. I’d rather we do this here than you going off to fight some random person in a dirty underground Fight Club.”

“First rule: Never talk about Fight Club,” Beau mumbled, but watched as Yasha didn’t move, just waiting for her to lay the first punch. Beau considered just walking away, because this was ridiculous, but Yasha was looking at her expectedly still and so she threw caution to the wind and charged forward with her fists raised. It was only half-hazarded, really, and Yasha seemed to be able to tell, because she ducked out of the way almost effortlessly.

“Is that all you got?” She then teased, and the way her lips curved into what was almost a smirk somehow got Beau’s blood boiling. She pulled back and went for another punch right into the gut. This one hit, though Yasha was quickly back upright and just by looking at her Beau could tell that she wasn’t really phased by it.

“I’ve only just started,” She then replied, going for the next punch, but before she could even decide where to actually hit, Yasha had caught her fist in one hand and was using the other to slap Beau across the face.

It stung and for a moment Beau was frozen, because she hadn’t expected the other woman to engage in the fight.

_She wasn’t just going to let you punch her you idiot,_ a voice in the back of her mind explained, and Beau quickly pulled back to get her fists up again. Yasha was still smirking, and if it hadn’t been so god damn distracting them Beau would have seen the next move coming. She could feel the other woman’s leg against her own and found her knees buckling as she stumbled forward. Yasha’s hand came to tangle in her hair as she pulled her up again, their faces close now.

“I said: Is that all you got, _Beauregard_?” She then whispered, and Beau could feel the anger boling up again. She pulled her knee up, watching as it connected with Yasha’s stomach, and when the other woman’s grip on her hair loosened, she pulled free and went for another punch, aiming right at the jaw.

Her knuckles connected with Yasha’s face and even though the impact wasn’t devastating, it at least threw the other woman back a few feet. “Better,” Yasha was still smirking, and it only spurred Beau on even further. She charged forward again, going for another punch to the jaw. This time Yasha was prepared though, ducking away and landing a punch of her own.

Beau could taste blood in her mouth, and she found that her eyes were burning again, her vision going slightly blurry. The mix of anger and sadness that was twisting her stomach again and again was making it hard to focus and so she threw caution to the wind and charged in almost blindly, her fists hitting Yasha’s torso.

“Fuck!” Beau was yelling at this point; the tears having blurred her vision completely. She had often attempted to figure out when her life had gone so completely wrong, but she couldn’t remember a time when she had actually been happy. Thoreau hadn’t always been a complete asshole towards her, but he didn’t seem to have ever really loved her either, and her mother...well she had always tried to keep things quiet, to not make a fuzz, and somehow it had made things worse.

She should have left the day she had turned eighteen, but instead Beau had become spiteful, trying to make her father’s life a living hell, because it was all she had learned to do.

It took her a moment to realize that her own punches had stopped, and she was now pressed against Yasha’s chest, with the other woman’s arms wrapped around her. Beau vaguely remembered that she had sworn not to cry in front of anyone, but at that point her cheeks were already tear streaked and she buried herself closer against the other woman’s chest. The sun had almost completely set by now and for a moment they just stood there, with Yasha’s arms wrapped around her and Beau’s hands fisted into the other woman’s clothes.

“I...I’m...” Beau eventually muttered, “I’m...sorry.” Everything was hurting at this point, even though neither of them had landed a lot of critical punches, and Beau highly suspected that it didn’t really have anything to do with the punching and hitting anyways.

“Hey, no hard feelings. I told you to punch me, remember?” Yasha’s voice made it through to her and Beau eventually pulled back, sniffling slightly as she wiped her face with one hand. She could feel a slight blush of embarrassment creeping onto her cheeks then, so she avoided looking up at the other woman.

“So...you wanna like...watch a movie or something?” Komordah had exactly one movie theatre that wasn’t even playing the newest releases, but anything was better than being home whenever her father returned.

“You don’t want to get wasted anymore?” Yasha asked, her lips curved into a smile as she eventually pulled back, her arms lingering for a moment longer before she dropped them to her sides.

“What I want right now is obscene amounts of popcorn and getting high on sugary drinks.” Beau replied, her cheeks still tinted red.

“Well, that sounds like a reasonable and safe way to spend the evening,” Yasha teased as they began walking into the direction of the gate. “As your personal security guard, I approve, but you should probably wipe the blood off your face,” She then added, and for the first time that day, Beau felt like laughing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally managed to sit my ass down and finish another chapter, haha. Enjoy!
> 
> And listen to the playlist if you like x  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ujsf5DoXgKLme0VZGrgEu?si=FiO_mUldSQmU0IEFdZX1Zg

Beau didn’t remember much about the movie they went to see. She remembered getting an obscene amount of popcorn and the boy at the ticket office giving them a weird look as they bought their tickets. She wasn’t surprised, really, considering her split lip and the bruise that was forming on Yasha’s jaw. It made her unusually giggly though, because this wasn’t something she would get in trouble for, and yet the thought of her father’s face, should he find out that Yasha and her had actually tried to fight each other, made her day infinitely better.

Beau also remembered getting sick of the popcorn halfway through and the way Yasha’s arm pressed against hers and maybe walking a little too close to her on the way home.

The lights in the house were turned off when they returned, so everyone had either gone to bed or Thoreau hadn’t returned home from work yet. It was way past 11pm at this point, but time was no indication as to whether or not he was home. Sometimes Beau wouldn’t see him for days, not that she was complaining, but that man worked like he was running out of time.

“You should probably put some ice onto that,” Beau then found herself saying as they slipped inside, door closing behind them. Yasha’s face didn’t look nearly as bad as it should have, considering how Beau usually fought, but the bruise was still visible. She had to physically restrain herself from reaching out to touch the other woman’s face, because it would only make her think about how much she wanted to kiss her.

“Ah, I’ll be fine.” Yasha replied as they slowly made their way towards the stairs. “What about you?”

Beau wasn’t sure whether she was talking about the punches she had taken, or all the other shit that had gone down today. Weirdly enough it seemed like all of these things hadn’t happened to her, though Beau was well aware that she would probably wake up to a series of not so nice texts whenever she turned her phone back on. “I’ll be alright too.” She then eventually decided, one hand on the doorknob while she turned back to look at Yasha once more. “Thank you...you know. For...everything.” Beau had never really been good at talking about her feelings, which wasn’t really a surprise considering how she had been raised. She owed Yasha a thank you though, and in return she got a smile that was way prettier than it had any right to be.

“Good night, Beau.”

“Good night, Yasha.”

-

When she woke up the next morning, Beau could feel the sore muscles more than she would have liked, and because she hadn’t bothered to change out of her clothes last night, she decided to have a shower before doing anything else. The warm water felt nice on her skin and for a moment she allowed her thoughts to drift off, imagining how it would feel to have Yasha with her in here. It was entirely inappropriate, of course, but Beau couldn’t quite help herself. Not when Yasha was somehow strong and soft at the same time and didn’t seem to be phased at all by Beau’s antics. The only other people who took her the way she was, were Fjord and the others, but most of them honestly couldn’t hold their own against her in a fight, not when it was just hand to hand combat anyways.

When she finally slipped out of the shower and into some clean clothes, Beau settled down onto the bed to turn her phone back on. She had a couple of texts from Tori, which she promptly ignored, because she didn’t want her mood to drop this early in the day.

There were a couple of missed calls from Fjord and Caleb, and a text from Jester, asking if she was doing alright.

Jester was sweet and always in a good mood, at least when Beau was around to see. She sometimes jokingly asked her whose girlfriend she was, because usually Fjord, Caleb and she were always together. Jester would just laugh and say, “Can’t you tell?” And then skip off.

**to: Jester, 8.45am**

_I’m good, thanks! Tell Fjord to stop calling me 500 times :P_

Once she had sent the text, Beau sauntered downstairs for some food. It was too late for family breakfast, not that she was complaining, because Thoreau usually got up around 6 am and then had breakfast with his wife before she went back to sleep. They had given up on forcing Beau to join them a long time ago, even though she wouldn’t even have minded getting up early, she just wasn’t thrilled by the company.

“Good morning,” Yasha was in the kitchen, mixing the ingredients for pancakes that had been so rudely abandoned yesterday together. “I heard the shower, so I figured...I’d start on this.”

Beau could feel a smile tugging on her lips as she nodded, walking over to the coffee machine. She had no idea what Tori was planning, but those were thoughts she could blissfully ignore right now, because Yasha was making her breakfast, and it wasn’t like the Tori was going to go and tell her father. Not without incriminating herself anyways, and the last thing Tori probably wanted was to end up in jail. They didn’t really talk about personal stuff a lot, but Beau knew that Tori’s family didn’t earn a lot of money, like most people in Komordah, so the money she was making through selling the Lionett wine was helping them stay afloat. Without it they’d be in trouble, and that wasn’t something she would risk, right?

“Did you sleep alright?” Yasha pulled her from her thoughts and when Beau looked back, the other woman was flipping a pancake, lips curved into a smile.

“Yeah, like a baby. Wait...no. They don’t sleep that well at all. Why is that even a saying?” Beau shook her head, picking up the coffee cup and putting it aside to make another. “Anyway, yeah. I did sleep alright. How’s your face?” The bruise on Yasha’s jaw had already faded and really, If you weren’t looking for it then it was barely visible.

“I’m alright, I’ve endured worse.” She then teased and Beau couldn’t help but laugh as she finished the second cup, placing both of them on kitchen isle.

“Well, maybe you could teach me some of your moves sometime.” She responded and found that Yasha was nodding. It wasn’t long until the pancakes were done, and they were eating together in silence, but for once it was a silence Beau didn’t mind. Eventually she found herself finishing the coffee in her hands, looking back at Yasha once more.

“I am...sorry for going off on you like that, though.” She had already apologized last night, but it felt like it wasn’t enough. After all they barely knew each other, and yet Yasha had stopped Beau from getting caught in the act, and she hadn’t ratted her out to Thoreau.

“So...why haven’t you left this place?” the other woman asked, and Beau could feel her stomach twisting ever so slightly.

“What...do you mean?” It was a dumb question to ask in return, because ever since Yasha had shown up, she had somehow been able to see straight through Beau. She wasn’t sure why, but maybe Beau wasn’t all that secretive and hard to read at all, maybe it was just that no one had really tried up until now.

“You said you were going to get out of here when you have enough money, but...if you sell that wine for even half the price your father does, and you’ve been doing this for a while, then you should have enough money to go somewhere and start over.”

_She’s right._ Beau thought, placing the empty coffee mug down onto the table. She had more than enough money to just go somewhere and stay for a while, or to travel around. She could go to school in Rexxentrum, like she had talked about with Fjord and Caleb. She’d even be the same year as Jester. 

“You’re scared.” Yasha’s voice pulled her from her thoughts again, and Beau resisted the urge to pull back into herself. To lash out or make a joke to deflect what had been said, like she usually would, but Yasha was looking at her, eyes soft and kind and Beau could feel tears prickling in the corners of her eyes.

_Fuck._

“This place is shit. Like...not just this house. The whole town. I don’t want to be here but...where else am I going to go? I’d just be...running away.” Oh and Beau had tried to leave. Had packed her things and up and went away. The first time she had made it to the gate, before turning around and changing her mind. She had been fifteen then, and with nowhere else to go she had climbed back in through her window and cried herself to sleep. The next time she had gotten as far as the city limits, but with no place to go and no cars around to take her anywhere anyways she had gone back once more.

One time she had made it to Zadash, in hopes of finding Fjord and maybe staying with him for a little while, but when she had texted him casually to ask where he was he had told her that he wasn’t in the city and so Beau had spent the night in a bar, drinking herself into oblivion with the fake ID she had acquired, before returning back home.

Picking up the empty coffee mug for a lack of a better way to hide her face behind, Beau held back a sigh. Her vision was getting slightly blurry, and she had no idea where to put all of these emotions. Usually she was pretty good at pushing these feelings away, locking them away somewhere deep down even, but there was something so calm, and almost disarming about Yasha that made it hard to concentrate on anything else.

“Hey,” the other woman was next to her all of a sudden, and Beau could feel a hand on her shoulder. It was warm and comforting in a way she hadn’t experienced in a long time. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time her parents had actually touched her without any malicious intent. “It’s okay not knowing what you want to do with your life, especially if you didn’t have anyone to show you the right way.”

Beau almost laughed at that, leaning into Yasha’s touch just a little as she placed the coffee mug onto the counter once more. “You know...I wouldn’t have minded working for my father or taking over the business one day. When I turned fifteen, he let me help him in his office, and I came up with plans to expand trade and promotion to all major cities and even to other continents. Like yeah, I was fifteen, but that plan was fucking brilliant, and I worked really hard on it,” Beau began, reaching up to wipe at her eyes for a moment. “But he didn’t want to expand. Called my hard work stupid and useless. Like what the fuck, man? I spent a lot of time on that and you call it shit? I don’t even know why he was so surprised that I didn’t want to work for him anymore after that.”

Yasha squeezed her shoulder and she was close enough for Beau to lean against her now, and maybe it wasn’t something she should have done, but her impulse control had always been shit.

She half expected the other woman to pull away, but instead Yasha’s arm wrapped around her and for the second time within the last 24 hours, Beau let her defenses down, face burying into Yasha’s neck.

“Your Dad sucks.” She then whispered, and Beau, despite herself, began to laugh.

“Oh, you have no idea.” And maybe she stayed close to Yasha a little longer than she should have, and maybe she found a way to ignore the way her own heart skipped a beat, and maybe things were going to be okay, at least for today.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the epitome of "Thoreau Lionett is an asshole" and "Beau needs a hug"  
> *hands tissues*

The next week went by without any major incidents. In fact, Beau even saw Thoreau less than usual. She wasn’t complaining, but part of her wondered what was going on that he spent so much more time at work. He had always been a bit of a workaholic, but he had also always managed to be home for dinner, if not for her, then for her mother and TJ’s sake.

Clara hadn’t been talking much, either. Not that she was generally someone to initiate a conversation, but she at least attempted to ask Beau about her day every now and then. Sometimes she wondered if her mother actually cared, or if it was just something that she thought to be polite. They did live in the same house after all, and as much as Beau tried to ignore anyone, besides Yasha, she couldn’t deny that.

It helped to have Yasha around, though. Mainly because Beau could spend her days training with the other woman and not having to hide in her room or roam the streets of Komordah in an attempt to fight her boredom, literally. Weirdly enough she didn’t miss it, either. It had never really been about destroying property, hell or even about getting drunk, it had mainly been about annoying her father, but since he wasn’t around all that much, she didn’t get to watch him react to any of her actions anymore.

Besides, Beau had to admit that it was actually nice to train with Yasha. Trading blows with intent, sometimes taking hits that hurt, but not purely for the sake of hurting. It wasn’t really something she had experienced before, and if she was being honest then she didn’t want to go back to how things had been before the other woman had arrived.

“You have to focus,” Yasha’s fist hit her square in the gut and Beau almost doubled over, the air being punched from her lungs. “Always look up, keep your eyes trained on mine and you’ll be able to see the attack coming.”

_Or I might just get distracted,_ Beau thought to herself as she straightened herself up again, taking a defensive stand. There were a lot of things she didn’t know about Yasha, and they all seemed to be right there in her eyes, but just beneath the surface where Beau couldn’t quite reach.

She was taken aback by another jab to her ribs, though this one didn’t hurt as much, and she assumed Yasha hadn’t put all her weight behind it. “Ouch.”

“What did I just say?” There was the hint of a smile on the other woman’s face as Beau finally focused, trying not to let herself get lost in all the secrets behind Yasha’s eyes. She saw the next punch coming, and managed to duck out of the way, lips curved into a grin. “Where did you learn how to fight like that anyways?”

Launching forward she went for Yasha’s shoulder, but the other woman caught her fist and stopped her almost effortlessly.

“Army,” She then responded. “Went when I turned eighteen. It was kind of a family thing. Everyone in my family served.”

Pulling her hand back, Beau cocked her head to the side. “And why did you stop?” Yasha was only a few years older than her, or so it seemed anyways, it didn’t feel like she should have been done with her career in military.

Going for another punch, Yasha used the momentary confusion to connect with the other woman’s shoulder, sending Beau stumbling for a moment. “About two years in,” She then continued, “I was sent as back up to negotiations between Xhorhas and the Empire. Something went wrong and...not a lot of people made it out alive. Including my girlfriend at the time.” There was a pause, where Beau was pretty sure she was holding her breath.

“Yasha...I’m sorry.” The other woman shook her head. “It was a while ago. I...wasn’t the same afterwards though. Got...a bit reckless, maybe. I was honorably discharged and have been making my money working as private security ever since.” Shrugging her shoulders, she met Beau’s eyes for a moment. “Not my dream job, but it pays the bills quite well.”

“Well, if you came looking for money you definitely got to the right place. My father is swimming in it. I still think you should be charging him more.” Beau then chuckled slightly, shaking her head.

“It’s definitely the most fun I’ve had on a job in a long time, and that has nothing to do with your father.” Their eyes met again, and Beau almost felt compelled to step up and press her lips to Yasha’s. It would have been so easy to give into the urge, to fuel the fire the other woman had lit inside of her when she had first appeared at the Lionett Estate, but something was holding her back, which was slightly irritating. Beau was known to make the girls around town swoon easily, and whenever she wanted a date, she would get it, and yet there was something different about Yasha, something that almost made her afraid to get rejected, and maybe for once this wasn’t about her ego. She was genuinely scared of losing Yasha, which was an entirely different thing she had to deal with at some point.   
Another one of Yasha’s punches brought her back once more and Beau almost laughed as, once again, all the air was pushed from her lungs. “Maybe...we should take a break,” She chuckled eventually, “It’s almost time for dinner anyways.” Yasha found herself nodding, the hint of a smile on her face.

“Sure, you go first. I’m gonna stay for a minute.” Beau wanted to ask her why but then decided that it was none of her business. Besides, she would have to take a shower and clean up a little before dinner, and maybe inspect the bruises she could already feel forming on her body.

The lights were on inside the house, even though it hadn’t fully gone dark yet. Beau’s thoughts were still with Yasha, so she didn’t notice anything different until she had already crossed the threshold. She caught a glimpse of Magda, who looked nothing but terrified, as she dragged a small TJ towards the kitchen with the promise of something sweet before dinner. Beau felt her stomach drop and she knew that her father was in the sitting room before she even turned to look.

Her first instinct was to run, but where would she even go? She had stared him down before, had yelled at him, and even though she had ended up crying herself to sleep those nights she had never broken in front of him.

“Beauregard.” His voice was harsh and she almost flinched, eyes flickering over to her mother, who stood by the fireplace, averting her gaze.

_Of course,_ She wasn’t sure why she had expected help from her in the first place.

“I tried my best to be patient with you. To put aside the rebellion and laziness you displayed, but to outright betray me?” He shook his head, and Beau felt like she had been punched in the gut again. “Not only that, to drag your poor friend into this? She was in tears when she finally told me about this scheme you’ve been running. Begged me for my forgiveness. I don’t care who you sleep with Beauregard, but to use that power you hold over people to seduce them into betraying your own father? That’s disgusting.”

“That’s...what she told you?” Her voice was quiet, and she hated it. Beau was aware that she probably shouldn’t have threatened Tori, or blocked her number, but she hadn’t known what else to do, and somehow a part of her had hoped, against all odds, that maybe her father would value her word more than the one of some random girl he didn’t even know.

“It doesn’t matter what she told me,” Thoreau continued, his voice almost threateningly calm now as he stood up from his chair and closed the distance between them. “You betrayed me, after I gave you all of this.” He gestured around. “I gave you more money than you could ask for, a comfortable life. I turned a blind eye when you started messing around, when people sent the checks for their destroyed property my way. I even hired someone to protect you, and this is how you repay me?”  
“You didn’t hire Yasha to protect me. You hired her so you could keep an eye on me, because I’ve become too smart for you,” The words were out before she could stop herself, and Beau could see the expression in her father’s face shift, and she had to force herself to not take a step back.

“I have enough problems as it is. I didn’t need to add you to that list, but you went out of your way to make it happen.” It shouldn’t have hurt this much to be called a problem, because Beau couldn’t actually remember the last time her father had looked at her with anything other than scrutiny or outright disgust, and still she couldn’t help the way her stomach twisted. “You didn’t just go behind my back, you sold off our best wine to my enemies, making me the laughingstock of this town, Beauregard. That is unforgivable,”

There were a lot of things she wanted to say, and yet the one thing that was at the forefront of her mind was a question she hadn’t expected.

_Why don’t you love me?_

There was no answer to that question, or maybe there was, and Beau just didn’t want to hear it. She could feel her vision blurring slightly and her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands as she watched him step closer.

“Is that all you have to say? No apologies? I am disappointed.” He made a dismissive sound and Beau finally snapped.

“Apologies? You never once apologized to me for being a horrible father! You never once told me that you loved me, or that you were proud of me. When I tried to present my ideas to you, you dismissed them like they were nothing, and you are still surprised that I went behind your back? I didn’t go around punching people in the face because it was fun, I did it so you would pay attention to me!” She was yelling now, tears threatening to fall, but at this point Beau really couldn’t care less. “So no, I’m not sorry that I went behind your back, because it only proved that money is worth more to you than your own family!”  
She didn’t see the slap coming. It only registered when the pain kicked in and her head moved to the side with the impact. Beau was almost paralyzed, a tear now making its way down her cheek. The second slap was one that she saw coming with the movement of her father’s hand as he lifted it to bring it down again clearly visible. Her survival instincts should have kicked in, but instead her body was frozen, locking her in place.

Beau braced herself against the pain, but this time it didn’t come. She noticed that she had closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, she was almost disorientated, her eyes catching sight of her father’s surprised expression, and the way his hand was still raised midair, only that there was another hand there, wrapped around his wrist, holding it in place.

Beau blinked the tears away, before following the hand to the rest of its body, and then almost let out a sob, because there was Yasha, fingers wrapped tightly around Thoreau’s wrist, with her expression calm, but her eyes full of rage.

“You...what...I hired you!” He pressed out, the anger kicking back in as he tried to free himself of Yasha’s grasp.

“To protect your daughter, yes.” She shot back, seemingly tightening her grasp, because Beau watched her father writhe in pain for a moment. “Which is exactly what I am doing,” She then loosened her grip, pushing Thoreau back, so there was a considerable distance between them.

His entire face had gone red at this point, and he looked like he was about to launch himself at Yasha, or at the very least, Beau. She tried to remember how to get into a defensive stand, but before her brain could even process the request, Beau heard a sudden and sharp gasp from her mother, and her father’s eyes grew wide for a moment.  
She frowned, her mouth already opened to ask what was going on, when she noticed the movement beside her and looked over.

Yasha had pulled a gun.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the cliffhanger before, but have some soft Beauyasha as a treat! ;)  
> (...also pain. and angst, but you know.)

Thoreau’s otherwise carefully constructed mask he seemed to always be wearing, had slipped ever so slightly at the sight of Yasha’s gun being pointed straight at him. It only lasted for a few seconds before he had managed to get everything back in place though, and Beau felt a cold shiver running down her spine.

“Listen, we can probably settle this quietly. How much money do you want?”

_He’s so sure of himself,_ Beau thought as she tried to keep her hands from shaking, basically clawing them into the fabric of her pants. She didn’t even need to look back at Yasha to know that the other woman’s face had darkened.

“I don’t want any of your money.” Her voice was cold, and Beau saw another shift on her father’s face. He was angry. It had been a long time since she had seen him truly angry, and it dawned on her that this was the attention she had so desperately tried to get, but now that she had it, she would have given anything to be as far away from this place as possible.

“Do you really think you’re going to get away with murdering me? This entire town known my name and they won’t let you get away with it. My _do no good_ of a daughter might, because you somehow got into her head, but this town...”

“You really think anyone in this town cares about you?” Yasha interrupted him, shaking her head slowly. “I’ve been here for less than a month and I can tell that there’s many people in this town, if not everyone besides your wife,” Her eyes shifted towards Clara, who was pressed against the far wall, eyes wide, “...though I wouldn’t put money on it, who wouldn’t mind seeing you _out of business.”_

In that moment, despite having known Yasha for a little over two weeks, Beau was entirely sure that, if she asked, the other woman would have shot her father point blank, no questions asked. “Yasha...” She hated how small and broken her voice sounded, but it was enough to catch the other’s attention. With the gun not wavering a moment, Yasha’s eyes darted over to Beau and for a moment there was a softness in them that made Beau’s heart miss a beat.

“Go upstairs, pack your things. We’re leaving.” She then nodded, and Beau couldn’t do anything but comply. She stumbled up the stairs, her cheek still stinging from the slap and her hands still shaking. She kept the money Tori and her had made in a locked chest under the bed and it took her a few seconds to get it open, throwing it into the bag she had pulled from her drawer, along with some clothes, her phone and a charger. There were a couple of pictures on her mirror she had taken while visiting Fjord and the others in Rexxentrum, and it was stupid to take them, because they were on her phone, and she would be able to print them again at any given time, but she didn’t want her father to ever lay his hands on them.

“Fuck...” Beau muttered to herself eventually, taking a moment to just breathe as she stood in the middle of her room. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen It coming. With how things had been going the escalation had been bound to happen, but whenever she had imagined it, she hadn’t thought about anyone else being there. Let alone anyone who’d be on her side. Then Yasha had shown up though, out of nowhere, almost like an angel. Well, an angel with a shotgun, but Beau was sure she would be able to appreciate the aesthetic and hotness that came with that the moment they were out of here.

Slinging the bag over her shoulder she was almost halfway towards the stairs, when she heard a voice calling out for her. “Beau, where you going?”

Feeling her heart sink, she turned to watch TJ almost sprinting around the corner, with Magda following close behind, a slight panic on her face. Crouching down so she could be on his level, Beau felt her throat closing up. “I am...going to school. Do you...do you remember Fjord telling you about his school? When children get older, they have to go to school somewhere else.” Magda had stopped a few feet away from them, and for a moment Beau saw something on her face, pity maybe? Feeling her stomach twist, she shook it off with the attempt to try and blink away the tears that were forming in her eyes.

“You gonna come back?” TJ asked, making a face. “Don’t want you to go,” If broken hearts were an actual thing Beau would have been able to pinpoint the exact time hers shattered into a thousand pieces.

“I...I don’t want to go either,” She sniffled, shaking her head, “But...I have to. It’s what grown-ups do. I promise I will come visit though,” She had told a great deal of lies in her life, it had practically become part of who she was, but this might have been the worst of them all. “Here,” Reaching up to undo the necklace around her neck, Beau’s voice cracked as she spoke again. “Until then you have to keep this safe for me, okay? It’s a treasure.” TJ’s expression changed immediately, his eyes lighting up as Beau pulled the necklace over his head.

“Treasure?” He then asked, and Beau almost laughed, quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Yeah, and you have to take good care of it,” She then replied, leaning in to press her lips to the top of his head, before pulling back. With her eyes drifting to Magda once more, Beau then picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. “Don’t let him suffer the same fate I did.” She then whispered, “If...if it happens, promise me that you will find me.” There was a moment of silence, that was only broken by TJ’s happy giggling as he fumbled around with the necklace, before Magda nodded.

Taking another deep breath, Beau made her way back downstairs eventually. For a moment she almost expected the whole thing to have been a dream. That the living room would be empty, with her father being at work and her mother nowhere to be seen, and worst of all: Yasha not being there. They were all where she had left them though, Yasha still holding the gun, eyes catching Beau’s for a brief moment, before she nodded.

“Now, be glad that your money is all we’re taking.” She eventually spoke again, “And don’t even think about coming after us, or trying to tell anyone what happened here. I have people who will vouch for me, and this entire town is more than willing to believe that you are an awful man who spends his life making other people miserable, and most of them are willing to protect one of the only good things you managed to accomplish in your life, your daughter.”

Beau felt her heart missing a beat as she stood frozen on the spot, her eyes darting from Yasha to her mother. Clara was still pressed against the wall, but there wasn’t so much fear in her eyes but resignation. She had never spoken up, never had an opinion that she didn’t share with her husband, and a part of Beau wanted to grab and shake her, tell her that she was her own person, and that she could be free if she wanted to be. It was clear that she couldn’t save her, though, not before she had saved herself anyway.

“Just leave. We’ll be glad if we never see either of your faces again,” Thoreau nearly spat the words out, and Beau felt like he would have personally grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out the door if it hadn’t been for the gun still pointed at him.

“Don’t worry.” Yasha responded, her voice still cold, as she took a few steps backwards, waiting for Beau to join her as she made her way towards the door. “We don’t intend on coming back.” The gun was focused on its target until they were fully out of sight, and Beau had to admit that she couldn’t quite remember how they had gotten out of the house. She vaguely remembered Yasha’s arm around her waist and being carefully guided into a waiting car. The passing houses of Komordah, a city she had called her home for an entire life, but that had never quite felt right.

They had long left the city behind when she finally came back to herself a little bit. “Yasha?” Her voice felt almost foreign to her as she reached out, her hand finding the other woman’s on the seat between them.

“I’m here.” The tone in her voice was so different now, all warm and soft and it helped to loosen the chains Beau felt someone had wrapped around her chest too tightly. “How are you feeling?”

“...fuzzy.” She then admitted, pulling herself into a somewhat upright position and away from the window against which she had been resting her head. “I...that was insane. I...” She trailed off, her mind still trying to grasp all the things that had happened today. They had gone from pancakes for breakfast to making what could only be called a great escape. “Thank you,” Beau then found herself muttering, feeling the other woman squeezing her hand ever so slightly.

“You’re welcome. Your father needed to be taught a lesson. No man, no matter for what reason, should raise a hand against his daughter, or treat her the way he treated you.”

Ignoring the way her stomach twisted, and the voice in the back of her head, telling her that she deserved all of it, Beau nodded slowly. “Yeah...but damn...I didn’t think you’d pull a gun,” She then managed, and Yasha chuckled ever so slightly.

“There were no bullets,” She then confessed. “I mean...I do have a license, and I have bullets, but I don’t usually use the gun around the house, or the estate, it was pure luck that I had it with me today. Could have hit him over the head with it really good though,”

Beau felt the laughter bubbling up then and before she even knew what was happening, the laughter had turned into sobs. Yasha’s arms had wrapped around her within seconds and she buried her face against the other woman’s chest, the world becoming hazy again.

She wasn’t sure how long she had stayed like that, but the car eventually came to a stop, and Beau realized she hadn’t even asked where the hell they were going.

“Give me a minute,” Yasha eventually whispered, and Beau felt herself reaching out for the other woman as she stepped out of the car. Everything was cold all of a sudden, her throat was dry, and her eyes were swollen from crying, but most of all, she realized, she didn’t want to be away from Yasha.

“Fuck...” She muttered, but she wasn’t able to gather herself any further before Yasha was back, pulling her into her arms and out of the car. The sun had long gone down and the only light source was a giant neon sign that read _The Evening Nip._

“We’ll stay here for the night. I’m owed quite a few favors I am calling in,” Yasha whispered and Beau could only nod, holding on to the other woman as she was carried across the parking lot and into what she assumed was a motel room. For a moment Beau considered taking a shower, but her legs were shaking and the moment her face hit the pillow on the bed she had decided that she couldn’t move anywhere else, not even if she tried. She barely managed to reach out again, catching the sleeve of Yasha’s shirt.

“Don’t...don’t...go.” Beau then found herself muttering and was promptly greeted with soft eyes looking down upon her.

“I’m not going anywhere. Just sorting out breakfast for tomorrow and the rest of our travel. I’m here to protect you, remember?”

“Yeah...but nobody’s paying you anymore. Maybe I should be paying you...” They did have the money she was carrying in her bag, but her brain wouldn’t form the right words, especially not when she felt the other woman lean down to press a kiss to her hair.

“I wouldn’t take any money, even if you offered,” Yasha then whispered, but Beau had already drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, have some disaster lesbians! xD
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads and leaves comments <3

When Beau eventually came back to herself, it took her a moment to realize just where she was. Memories of yesterday came flooding back, the training with Yasha, how she had entered the house and how her life had been turned upside down within seconds. Her father slapping her across the face and Yasha pulling a gun on him and them escaping that hell hole of a town.

“Yasha,” Beau shot upwards and into a sitting position, her heartbeat accelerating as she looked around the room. The sun was streaming in through the half open curtains, her own bag was left by the small desk in the corner, but the other woman was nowhere near to be seen.

Beau could feel panic rising up, her chest tightening ever so slightly as she looked around. Yasha wouldn’t just leave her like this, right? Not when she had basically risked her life to finally get her out of that hell hole Beau had still called home for some reason. Swinging her legs out of bed she moved over to the bathroom, poking her head inside. It was empty, too. If she was being honest then Beau didn’t remember much from last night, not after they had gotten into the car anyway. This was a motel, she knew as much, but she had no idea where they were or how far they had gotten from Komordah.

A neon sign flashed in front of her eyes, _The Evening Nip_ , and suddenly Beau felt a nagging in the back of her head, like she was supposed to know this place.

“Beau?” Yasha’s voice pulled her from her thoughts though and she almost jumped, swirling around to catch a glimpse of the other woman in the door, holding up two cups of coffee and something that looked like sandwiches. “I figured you could use a little pick me up before we continue. Are you...okay? You look pale...” There was immediate worry on her face and Beau’s heart missed a beat.

“Uh...yeah. Yeah I’m good, just...got up a little too quickly.” She then muttered, running a hand through her hair before she crossed the room to take the coffee from Yasha. “Thanks,” Shuffling over to the bed, Beau eventually settled down and took a sip, the hot liquid feeling almost heavenly as it went down her throat. 

“So...where exactly are we?” She vaguely remembered Yasha saying that she was calling in a few favors to stay here, but not exactly where they were, or who she was calling those favors in with.

“Zadash. The guy who owns this place owes me a couple of favors. I helped him out quite a bit,” Yasha leaned against the door, unwrapping one of the sandwiches as she spoke.

Beau’s mind was slowly catching up with her at that point, and suddenly she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Holy shit.” She then muttered, eyes meeting with the other woman’s. “I don’t know if I ever told you about Jester? She’s a friend, studies a year below Fjord and Caleb. I think her Dad own this place?” The motel and tavern weren’t exactly what he made most of his money with, but Beau assumed Yasha knew as much.

“Seriously?” Yasha then asked, one eyebrow raised, and Beau nodded, another laugh escaping her lips.

“Yeah. I mean she didn’t know he was her Dad until like...a year ago. Noped the hell out before he even knew Jester’s Mom was pregnant.” She frowned. “I mean...it’s probably a little more complicated than that, but you know.” Jester had told the story of how she had found out who her Dad was and then dragged both Caleb and Fjord, along with some other people, down to Zadash to confront him. It must have been quit the scene.

“Well, you’ve got a nice story to tell when we get there then,” Yasha took a sip of her coffee, nodding. Beau glanced up at her once more, frowning.

“What?”

“We’re going to Rexxentrum. Where...else did you think I was going to take you?” The corners of her lips curved upwards slightly. “I’ve got some more favors I can call in so we can get a place to stay. You said you were interested in studying, right? What better place to study than that city.” Finishing off her coffee, Yasha crumbled the cup in her hand and tossed it into the bin, which distracted Beau just a little bit.

_Hot._ She found herself thinking, before pushing the thought aside, because she really didn’t have time for that now. “I already called Fjord and told him we’re coming. No details, just that they can expect to see you by tomorrow the latest,”

The thought of seeing her best friend, and the rest of her friends, again made Beau’s chest hurt ever so slightly and she met Yasha’s eyes again. “I...thank you,” She then muttered.

“Of course. Uh...I’m going to organize another car for us, you can have a shower and meet me outside,” And with that she had pushed herself away from the wall and slipped out of the room again.

-

The hot water on her tense muscles made Beau relax just a little and she definitely felt better than she had last night. Everything still didn’t seem quite real to her, and whenever her thoughts drifted back to her father, she felt her stomach twist. She wasn’t even letting herself think about TJ, whom she had flat out lied to, because there was no way she could ever return to the Lionett House.

Blinking away the tears, Beau quickly dried herself off and slipped into some new clothes, before glancing down at her phone. Yasha must have charged it overnight, because the battery was at 98 percent, and she had two missed calls from Jester and Caleb, and a few messages from Fjord.

**to: Beau, 3.32am**

_Beau? Are you alright?_

**to: Beau, 3.34am**

_Yasha just called. You’re coming to Rexxentrum?_

**to: Beau, 3.40am**

_Just...let us know if you’re okay._

Grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder, Beau typed out a quick response before stepping out of the motel room.

**to: Fjord, 8.43am**

_I’m alright. I’ll update you later._

Looking around she spotted Yasha leaning against a convertible, talking to a man with blue skin and long, black hair that was slicked back. He was wearing silk robes and his lips curved into a smile as he spotted her.

“Ah, tell my Jester I said hello, will you?” he then nodded, before dropping the car keys into Yasha’s hand. “If you ever need work, you know where to find me. We need good people like you,” He added, before offering another smile over his shoulder as he sauntered off towards the main building.

“So...a life of crime for you, huh?” Beau attempted a joke, but Yasha just waved her hand as she opened the passenger door for her.

“I was mainly doing security. Took out a couple of guys that were trying to snitch on him though.” She then shrugged her shoulders, offering a smile as Beau slid into the passenger seat, before she made her way around the car.

The radio was playing the latest hits and Beau, once again, watched the buildings get smaller until they nearly completely disappeared, replaced by occasional trees and some single one-story houses in the distance.

They didn’t speak much, mainly because Beau wasn’t really sure what to say. She wanted to thank Yasha again, but just thinking about what had went down in that house made her feel nauseous and she figured that if she ignored it, at least for now, they’d make it to Rexxentrum without her having a mental breakdown. Yasha didn’t seem to want to initiate a conversation either, and a part of Beau was glad about it, so instead they stopped at a diner for lunch and then drove until the sun was setting on the horizon. Both of them decided to stop at another motel to spend the night, they had the money after all and there was no reason to wake up Fjord and the others in the middle of the night.

While Yasha got the room, Beau picked up their bags and carried them across the parking lot to where the other woman was meeting her. The place wasn’t too shabby, but not quite as comfortable as the _Evening Nip._ Not that Beau really cared, after driving all day all she really wanted was to sleep and maybe forget about everything for a little while.

“I’m going to take a shower, maybe order some room service? They said they’ll call you back and you can pick it up at the front desk once it’s done.” Yasha smiled before she disappeared into the bathroom, and a minute later Beau heard the water running.

She briefly toyed with the idea of simply following Yasha into the shower, but then fought the urge. She was still attracted to the other woman, of course, but Beau wasn’t exactly sure how Yasha felt, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle rejection right about now. So, she pushed that thought aside and ordered burgers for them, picking them up at reception and returning just in time for Yasha to step out of the bathroom again.

She was wrapped in a towel, wet hair falling over her shoulders and Beau had trouble not staring as the droplets made their way over the other woman’s collarbone and disappeared beneath the towel eventually.

“I...uh. Got food,” She held up the plates before setting them down onto the bed, gaze averted as she fought the instinct to keep looking.

_That woman saved your life, you owe her some privacy,_ Beau then reminded herself as she picked up her phone, pretending to look through some apps while she waited for Yasha to get dressed. The other woman slipped into some sweatpants and an oversized shirt, and Beau’s heart missed another beat.

Blinking she eventually tore her eyes away again and focused on the food instead. The TV was running, though Beau wasn’t quite sure what they were actually watching. There were too many thoughts swirling around inside her head, making it hard to focus.

What kind of story would her father tell to make up for her absence? How would TJ react when he noticed she wasn’t coming back? What was Tori going to do now that there was no business left for her in Komordah? And mostly: What the hell was she supposed to do with her life now?

“Everything okay?” Yasha’s voice pulled her from her thoughts and Beau glanced down at the empty plate she’d been holding for at least five minutes now.

“I...yeah. I don’t know...” She eventually confessed. “I don’t...I mean don’t get me wrong, I am grateful that you got me out of there. Like...so much, but...”

“It’s weird,” Yasha nodded, leaning back against the headboard. “I get it. Where...where I come from, marriages are arranged, and if you’re out of line then you get cast out.” Beau watched for a moment; bottom lip caught between her teeth. She didn’t know much about Yasha, but she hadn’t really dared to ask, either. Hell, she hadn’t even planned to care as much about the other woman as she clearly did now. “I was young and in love. My girlfriend and I eloped, got married and then enlisted in the army.” Putting away her own plate, Yasha took a deep breath before meeting Beau’s eyes. “Remember that incident I told you about? The one that got me honorably discharged? Well, my wife didn’t make it out.” There was a pause and Beau felt her stomach twist again as she instinctively reached out to grab the other woman’s hand.

“Yasha, I’m sorry.” She then muttered but was greeted with a soft smile instead of sadness as she looked up again.

“Like I said: It’s alright. It was...a while ago. And Zuala would have wanted me to move on,” Beau could feel the other woman’s hand closing around hers, and suddenly it was hard to breathe. She hadn’t even noticed that they had both leaned in instinctively, but their faces were closer now, lips almost touching, and Beau could feel the warmth radiating from Yasha’s body.

She would have kissed her. Like she would have kissed her that one morning in the kitchen, but the ringing of her phone snapped them out of it and Beau almost jumped, her chest tightening as Yasha pulled away, face turned towards the TV now.

“It’s...Fjord I promised...I would update him, I should probably...”

“Yeah...yeah...sure. I’ll be...uh...here.”

“I won’t be long.” Beau then nodded, her heart beating rapidly in her chest as she grabbed the phone and headed for the door. She was well aware that Fjord was just being considerate, but she couldn’t quite help the slight annoyance that crept up on her as she called him back to tell him that they’d be in Rexxentrum in the morning. They talked about meeting up at a coffee shop near the Academy and when Beau eventually returned to the room, the lights were turned off and Yasha was seemingly asleep, facing away from her.

Sighing, Beau turned her phone off and tossed it into her bag, before slipping under the covers to let sleep claim her.


	9. Chapter 9

This time around it was Beau that woke up first. It was still mainly dark outside, no sunlight streaming in through the curtains just yet. She’s never had a problem with getting up early, in fact she had always been one of the first people awake at home, unless she had been out drinking the night before, which had been the case more than a few times over the past two years, but still. She could have gotten up to work, but she had wanted to piss off her father by simply turning over and going back to sleep, and it had worked.

Now there was no one to piss off anymore though, and Beau would have to figure out what to do with the rest of her life.

Turning over she was suddenly face to face with Yasha, who still seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Beau’s fingers twitched ever so slightly, and she had to hold herself back from reaching out to push a strand of hair from the other woman’s face. There was something about Yasha, something she had noticed from day one, that set her apart from everyone else Beau had ever fancied. She couldn’t quite explain it, but no one had ever understood her the way Yasha did. Even Tori, who had known about the shit Thoreau had pulled, had only ever offered a bottle of wine and making out. She had never really cared to listen, but if Beau was being honest then she had never asked her to, either.

“Everything okay?” Yasha had cracked an eye open and Beau almost jumped, her heart suddenly beating faster against her chest, as if she had been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to.

“Yeah...just...couldn’t go back to sleep,” She eventually whispered, “Yasha? Can I...ask you something?” There was a pause, before the other woman nodded. “You said...we could get an apartment in Rexxentrum, until I can sign up for uni or something,” Beau then continued. “Why...why do you want to get an apartment together?”

It was something Beau had been turning over and over in her head ever since she’d been able to think straight again. Sure, they were friends, but there was no reason for Yasha to stay around now that Beau was safe and away from home. She had also told Beau that she was someone who moved around quite a lot, and it would at least be another six months before Beau could actually sign up for the new semester at the Academy.

“Do you not want me to?” Yasha asked quietly, her eyes seeming to search Beau’s for an answer before any words could even be formed.

“No. No...I mean, yes. I want you to I just...” _I’m not used to people caring so much about me._ She then thought. Sure, Fjord and the others cared, and she distinctively remembered her best friend offering Beau to stay in his dorm, but that would have been nearly impossible and had been a spur of the moment thing rather than an actual plan. Yasha however, had somehow planned on staying with Beau and even talked about getting a job.

“You think I was going to leave you alone after what happened back there?” Yasha’s voice came through again and Beau felt her chest tightening.

It would have been easy to just kiss her. To shut up all these thoughts swirling around in her head, like she usually did when things got too serious, but this was different. Yasha was different. “I should take a shower, and get us some breakfast,” Beau then muttered, pulling away eventually and sitting up, and Yasha didn’t complain.

-

They were ready to go just before 8am and Beau was still sipping a coffee as they drove out of the parking lot, leaving the small town behind. It wasn’t more than a couple of hours to Rexxentrum at this point, and while part of her dreaded coming to the big city, because it was such a final step, she also couldn’t wait to see Fjord and the others.

Yasha was humming along to the song on the radio and soon Beau found herself relaxing a little. They eventually stopped at a little diner to get some early lunch before going back on the road. At this point the sun was out, smiling down upon them as they drove with the roof open, Beau singing along loudly to some 80s song. Her good mood was only dampened slightly when the towers of Rexxentrum eventually came into view. It wasn’t so much fear that crept up on her, but a slight anxiety. For the past two days she had been able to pretend that she had time to figure this all out, but now that they were actually approaching the city, her stomach twisted again.

Suddenly Yasha’s hand was there though, closing around her own, and Beau turned to look at the other woman. Yasha’s eyes were focused on the road however, but it did little to stop the way Beau’s heart missed another beat.

The streets were packed with people going about their business and kids pressing their noses against the window glass of different shops, before being pulled away by their parents. It was so full of life, and vastly different than Komordah, that Beau instantly felt a little better. The coffee shop they were meeting at, the _Beans &Buttons_, was near the center, a small corner shop with big windows and a bright green door. Yasha had parked the car across the street and before they had even stepped fully into the shop, Beau heard her own name being called.  
“Beau!” Jester’s voice was high pitched as she threw herself into the other woman’s arms, and Beau couldn’t help but laugh as she caught her. “You made it!” She could see Fjord and Caleb sitting in one of the corner booths in the back, the latter with a book open in front of him. “And you must be Yasha! You really do look super cool, Beau wasn’t lying!” Jester continued, enveloping the other woman in a hug as well, which was, fortunately, distracting enough for her to not realize that Beau was blushing ever so slightly.

Both Caleb and Fjord eventually got up to hug her then, and maybe Beau stayed in their embrace a little longer than she usually would have. She had known they were her friends, of course, but in Komordah, so far away from them, it was easy to believe that she had no friends at all, no one who really cared about her. Maybe that had been part of the reason she had never really left, because what if there was nowhere to go to? No one to really want her?

Pushing that thought aside she settled into the booth with Yasha, their knees touching under the table. “Did you guys make it here okay? Must have been a long drive,” Jester eventually spoke up again as she took a sip of her milkshake. “Oh you should absolutely get some coffee first, and pastries! Veth makes the best cinnamon rolls!” She then added, getting up and pulling Yasha along to the counter before the other woman could protest.

“Veth?” Beau asked, watching the other two women walk away.

“Caleb’s friend,” Fjord answered with a nod as he stirred his own coffee. “She owns this place. Her husband teaches Alchemy at the Academy. Nice guy. A little all over the place, but all in all pretty cool.” There was a pause before he spoke again, “So...what the hell happened?”

Beau sighed, leaning back for a moment to close her eyes. She could feel her chest tighten again but ignored it in favor of giving the other two a quick rundown of what had went down two days ago in Komordah.

“That’s...heavy.” Fjord eventually spoke again, “I mean...I knew your Dad wasn’t the nicest guy in town but....” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“And she really threatened him with a gun?” Caleb interjected; one eyebrow raised.

“Not all of us can set fire to houses with the snap of our fingers,” Beau replied then, and Caleb rolled his eyes.

“That was _one_ time, Beauregard and I put it out again.”

“Well that’s what you get for trying to impress a girl.” She couldn’t help but tease. She only really knew about that story because they had all gotten drunk on the wine she had stolen from her Dad and brought along on one of her rare trips to visit Fjord at the Academy, but she still wasn’t above using it against him.

“Fine. Sins of the youth,” Caleb eventually chuckled, shaking his head. “I did get to date her for three years though. What’s your plan now?”

Shrugging her shoulders, Beau’s eyes found Yasha, who was balancing two coffee cups while Jester carried the plates with the pastries back to their table. “I don’t know. Get a place to stay? Maybe a job, until I can sign up at the Academy.” She honestly wasn’t sure where to get a place, or if Yasha was actually planning on staying, but the thought of the other woman leaving was making her stomach twist again, and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

“I mean...if you know what you want to do and are willing to put in work I could try and talk to some of the teachers. See if they can get you into Jester’s year so you guys could graduate together,” Caleb offered just in time for the others to return to the table.

“Oh yeah, Caleb is like...on first name basis with all the teachers,” Jester chuckled as she squeezed in between them, before adding a little quieter, “But I can’t call him a teacher’s pet because then he won’t get me free pastries anymore,”

Beau couldn’t help but chuckle as she reached for one of the cinnamon rolls. Jester’s mother was pretty well off, and so was her father, so she really didn’t need any free pastries, but Beau assumed that was not what this was about.

Glancing down at where Yasha’s and her knee were still touching under the table, Beau eventually picked up her coffee and took a sip. Her anxiety had seemed to have subsided now that she was surrounded by her friends, far away from a life that had trapped her for so long now. It was strange how she had always known that Thoreau was a bastard, and yet she had been around him long enough to start believing that, maybe, she was as worthless as he always made her out to be.

“Maybe,” She eventually found herself saying. “I’m gonna have to check out all the majors they have and stuff.” She had always been interested in history, but it had never really occurred to her to actually take a look at the Academy’s website, maybe because it had all seemed so unreachable before.

“Well, let me know. If you want to sign up next year, I’m sure we can get you a job here regardless. Veth’s always looking for someone to do the closing shift so she can pick her son up from daycare.”

“Hey, yeah. And we could get Yasha a job as Astrid’s personal security,” Jester chuckled, mouth still half full of pastry.

“Who’s...Astrid?” Yasha then found herself asking as she placed her empty coffee cup onto the table.

“Caleb’s Ex. Straight A student. Caleb’s teacher likes to pretend the government is after her,” Fjord jumped in, rolling his eyes.

“Astrid can take care of herself, and even if she couldn’t: Eodwulf would,” Caleb then added, shaking his head. “But I’m sure there’s plenty of people in this city who need security,”

“Eodwulf is also Caleb’s Ex!” Jester chimed in with a smile, finishing off the last pastry. “More on like, a sexual level though,”

“Yes...well. Now that you’re supposedly going to be part of this group let me tell you, in case you hadn’t noticed, Yasha: Jester likes to overshare.” Fjord nodded, which caused Beau to laugh.

“Yeah, you should see Fjord’s Ex. She’s a piece of art. Ask Jester to tell you about that time they got caught having sex in the dorm room showers,”

“Beau!” She was laughing again, and even the corners of Yasha’s lips were curved into a smile as their hands found each other under the table, and Beau figured that, just maybe, they were going to be okay. At least for today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...think this might be it?  
> I had no clear idea where this story was going when I started it, but this feels like a good end for this arc at least! I feel a little bad for leaving you guys without a kiss, so I might do an epilogue with a bit of a time jump, so don't stop reading just yet! ;) 
> 
> For now though, thank you to everyone who has read the story and left comments, it means the world to me! <3


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally managed to write up the Epilogue for this wonderful story! I knew the last chapter was a great ending, but I also didn't want to leave you guys hanging with an open end like that. When I started this fanfic I had no idea where it was going, but I'm glad I stuck with it! Thank you for reading and leaving comments! Until next time x

“So, are you going to ask her out?” Jester was leaning against the counter, lips curved into a grin as she watched Beau put the finishing touches on her latte.

It had been two months since she had up and left Komordah in what could only be described as a spectacular escape and crashed her best friend’s life. Things had settled down, and even though she hadn’t heard from Thoreau since then, a letter had found its way to her from Magda, telling her that, if she ever thought of writing to TJ, she best address the letter to her instead. Magda had always been a good soul, sneaking food up to Beau’s room whenever she had been sent away without dinner, and if she had ever caught her sneaking out, she had never said a thing.

Leaving TJ behind had physically pained Beau, and the weight of it all had only really set in after a few days. Her little brother was still so young, and he was their father’s pride and joy, but then again so had Beau been all those years ago. There was no way she could handle taking care of a toddler when she barely had her own life together though, but Beau had sworn that she would help TJ get out of there if that was what he wanted.

“I don’t think that’s what she wants.” Beau fought to keep the blush down, as she sprinkled some cinnamon on top of the whipped cream and then slid the whole thing over to Jester.

“Oh please, Beau. She literally saved you _knight on a white horse style_ and then got an apartment with you and a job so she could stay around. Besides, have you seen the way she looks at you?”

Now Beau was actually blushing, quickly turning away to busy herself with wiping the counter. It wasn’t like she hadn’t thought about asking Yasha out, whenever they weren’t working or hanging out with their friends, they spent most of their time together, with Yasha cooking dinner and Beau telling stories about her classes or the strange customers she had to deal with on a daily basis in Veth’s coffee shop.

They had fallen into a rhythm, which on one hand, was nice, but on the other it felt like they had missed their chance on becoming more than just friends. “I don’t know Jester, I just feel like she would have made a move if a relationship was what she wanted,” Beau then added with a sigh.

“Okay well, maybe, but you also have to put yourself into a position where she can make a move, you know?” Jester then replied, still casually leaning against the counter and not paying any mind to the line that had started forming behind her. “Like...make it clear that you are open to dating, and that you want her to be the one to date you. I mean she already cooks for you and you guys live together, so that’s a pretty big thing.”

“Excuse me, could you...?” Jester waved her hand, not even looking over her shoulder. “Yes, just give me a minute, this is important,” She then said, before focusing back on Beau. “I’m pretty sure Yasha likes you, Beau, I mean she comes here to hang out all the time when she’s on her break, even when it’s only you who’s around, and I mean she sees you at home. I only want to spend all my time with people whenever I really, really like them, and when I’m not with them I imagine all the things we could be doing together,” Her grin had gotten brighter and Beau almost rolled her eyes, Jester had, and always would be, a hopeless romantic.

It wasn’t really her style, being romantic, but maybe she would just have to make an exception for Yasha.

-

When the other woman came home from work that night, Beau was making pancakes. Or attempting to anyways. She wasn’t exactly bad at cooking, but she had found that she lacked the passion for it, as opposed to Yasha, who really seemed to enjoy herself whenever she made them dinner.

“You’re cooking?” The other woman’s lips were curved into a smile and Beau instantly felt the butterflies in her stomach come to life. She wasn’t sure how she had managed to survive these past two months with Yasha so close, going out of her way to make her dinner and falling asleep on the couch next to her, their arms touching and heads resting on each other’s shoulders.

“I’m trying,” She offered, holding up a wooden spoon she had used to try and get the lumps out of the batter. The whole thing had been too thick, so Beau had added milk, which had made it too liquid, so she had picked up some more of the flour and well, now she had lost track of how much was actually in there.

In her defense it really wasn’t the pancake batter she was focused on though. Ever since the talk she’s had with Jester this morning, all she had been able to think about was Yasha. It was hard enough to keep the other woman from being on her mind constantly on a regular day, but today had been extra difficult. She had gone back to the times they has trained outside the Lionett house and how Yasha had hugged her, being the first person to do so in a long time, and how the other woman had pressed her against the wall in that darkened alley, effectively saving her from getting caught, and how they had almost kissed that morning in the kitchen.

Yasha had, quite literally, saved Beau’s life, and maybe she hadn’t really felt worthy of being loved by her. Yasha knew the worst sides of her though, and she hadn’t run screaming. In fact, she had taken Beau’s hand and proved that she wasn’t alone, even to a point where Yasha had stayed longer than anticipated. Beau still remembered her saying that she travelled a lot, not staying in one place for a very long time, and yet she hadn’t even mentioned going anywhere else.

“You could have just waited for me to come home, you know?” Yasha then chuckled as she leaned against the counter, and Beau felt her stomach flip at the word _home._ She hadn’t felt at home in any place in a long time, but these past two months she had been able to shake the ever-looming feeling of dread that was looming over her head. Caleb was helping her catch up on studies, she had a stable job and Jester wouldn’t go two days without hanging out with her, while Fjord seemed to have gotten even more protective of her, even though he’d never admit it out loud, and Yasha didn’t seem to be going anywhere. For the first time in years, Beau was at peace. She was still learning and growing, but she didn’t feel like her life was a never-ending circle of pain and rejection.

“I know, but I wanted to do this right,” She eventually muttered, glancing up to meet Yasha’s gaze. Her eyes were warm, and Beau instantly felt drawn closer to the other woman. There was something about Yasha that felt like home and Beau was sure that she wanted to spend the rest of her life feeling like this.

“I could teach you,” Yasha offered with a smile, but Beau shook her head.

“Not what I meant,” She then responded, the wooden spoon forgotten on the counter as she leaned in a little closer, her heart feeling like it was about to beat right of her chest. “I didn’t do this right the first time,” It had only been a little over two months and yet it felt like a lifetime ago since Yasha and her had first stood in the kitchen, making pancakes, and a little over two months since Beau should have kissed her.

“You didn’t?” Yasha then asked, her voice barely a whisper as she leaned in, and Beau simply shook her head.

“No. But I will now,” She then muttered, and before Yasha could respond, Beau’s lips had found hers in a kiss. It was soft and sweet, and so very different from how she usually approached this kind of thing, but it was just right. The fact that she had to stand on her tiptoes made her laugh just a little, and Beau found herself gasping as Yasha wrapped an arm around her to pull her close.

She lost track of time a little bit after that, but it didn’t really matter. Her pancake batter was probably beyond saving, and Beau decided that Yasha’s lips tasted much better anyways. And besides: She had all the time in the world to learn how to make pancakes now.


End file.
